Gaia Community: Jaia's Blog

The New Activism

http://jaia.gaia.com — Thu, 14 May 2009 14:10:44 GMT

As the desert sun began it's early climb, and I found my way back to this world, I found these words in my head.

The new activism.

Hmmm......what?

Always love these things that come from the in between space, the space between dreams and reality, it was where the subtitle of my book came from: "how to ditch the life your mind created and start living the one your soul intended", and how original songs, solutions and visions have found their way into this world.

Sometimes they are difficult to translate and I never quite figure out what they mean. That wasn't the case this morning.

When I sat with what these words meant it was fairly evident right away~ in fact, there are probably many books out already on the topic.

Carrying signs and picketing is passe, writing to our congressman, old hat. Yes, we can still do these kinds of things, but many of us have taken Gandhi's words to heart by being the change we wish to see in the world. This is the new activism.

The new activism doesn't whine about others not changing, or complain about the way things are, it puts the ball in our court, it puts our money where our mouth is, and inspires us to clean up our own act, while inspiring others to do the same. And, not standing on a 'holier than thou' pedestal, but with a sense of enthusiasm and joy.

If we want peace, instead of making our way to the street with signs, we need to first make our way to our meditation mat. In the same way, if we want clean air and water, we have to be the change we wish to see in the world. How can we expect to have a clean environment while our inner environment is full of toxins? It doesn't really make sense to expect any different.

How can we continue to ignore the fact that it takes about 2,500 gallons to produce one pound of meat ( a median estimate), while it takes about 25-35 gallons to produce a pound of various veggies? Not to mention the waste factory farmed animals produce, creating what are known as dead zones in various water systems. With all of the talk about water issues, why is this information not on the front page?

What's so great about the new activism, is you have total control. You are not dependent on politicians to change laws, which could take decades, which we do not have, or never happen, given the many kickbacks, or incentives for things to stay the same. You don't have to wait for things to change out there, you get to be that change. How cool is that? After you've changed, you can still get out in the streets with signs and still write letters and make calls, but you won't feel like a victim to a system anymore because you will see the real power is with the people, and our ability to change our ways. It is a good time to take responsibility for our environment, for our inner environment, and as more of us do, we will watch the outer environment be the change as well.

It's no accident I woke up with this on my mind, since I went to sleep with our 40 day upcoming cleanse in there~~ it starts on May 24th and there are still a few spots left~~ see the info below and drop me a line if you'd like to participate in a branch of the new activism :)

Happy changing~~Happy Being~~

Living Raw: A 40 Day Transformation through

Food, Faith, and Fearless Living

40 Day Living Food & Juice Cleanse

Do any of these describe you?

You have mood swings and cravings that make you feel out of control and depressed

You have noticed that you lack the energy and level of health you once had

You want to do a cleanse but don’t know where to start and would like support

You are interested in releasing addictions to processed foods, sugar, meat, dairy, etc.

You would like the mental and emotional support of doing a cleanse with a group

You want to build your immune system, release weight, and/or glow with health

You want to eat in a way that supports the environment

You are going through a transition in your life and want to support the process by releasing physical toxins/old energy

If so, on May 24^th we will embark on a 40 day journey of transformation into greater levels of radiant health and wholeness, greater body awareness, and greater trust in ourselves, empowering us to take control of our health and life.

Program includes:

*Info pack with cleanse outline, shopping list, recipes, resource links, sent via email

*Getting started conference call on May 23^rd including Q&A and intention setting

*Daily email sent, including daily checklist, quality of the day, and nutrition information piece to keep you inspired and on track

*Conference calls twice a week, participation optional, but recommended

*One on one support via email or phone for any questions or concerns during the cleanse

Only $250 investment for this 40 day intensive and life-changing program

"Jaia is in the forefront of the spiritual and living food movement. She is compassionate, caring and wise, making her a great coach on all levels. I participated in a 40 day cleanse January of 2008 and it changed my life completely. If you want to cleanse your body and increase your health, energy and vitality then participate in the 40 day cleanse with Jaia, you will be grateful you did. ~~~Trish Sharpe"

From early childhood Jaia was haunted by a vision of a world of universal love and peace, as well as a persistent questioning as to why there were things such as war, poverty, and disease. Conventional answers led her to an isolated and addicted life experience for many years, but after a moment of illumination in 1996, her life turned around and she began her path as a teacher, healer and awakened artist. She began a vegan living food path in 2001, is a certified living food chef, certified living food nutrition educator, and is co-founder and current director of Agape International Living Food Ministry. She was event coordinator for Juice Fast LA, where over 80 people fasted for 7 days on green juice under the guidance of Dr. Gabriel Cousens. She also holds a Masters Degree in Spiritual Psychology, is an author, singer-songwriter, and is the mother of a teenage daughter. She began facilitating classes in 2000 and has taught, facilitated and performed in many venues, including overseas and federal prison.

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Return of the Ancestors pt III

http://jaia.gaia.com — Fri, 08 May 2009 01:39:57 GMT

I have only been on Native American reservation land once before, when I was part of a pilgrimage that I was hired to drive a van for a few years before. We travelled to many well known sites and one day after a tour on Hopiland we were invited to come and see where our tour guide and his family lived. It reminded me of being in Africa, or in India, where the roads were dirt and the houses were not much more than some plaster, rocks, and prayers. Even though I live in an RV now (admittedly a cushy one with all the fixins) I have always felt a little, you know, not quite right in seeing a people who were there first ending up with the short end of the stick so to speak. I mean, we can say all is fair in love and war, we can call it capitalism, call it progress and even survival of the fittest, and we do. But there's also another word for all of it, it seems to me: unfair. We can make all kinds of rationalizations and intellectual projections, economic demographics, racist generalizations, and at the end of the day there is still something wrong in Denmark, or, in this case, Tuba City, Arizona.

Due to some kind of construction injunction in 1966, the paved road stopped far before reaching the house where we were to gather, and from what I understood due to this injunction about 80% of the homes in this very large area were without electricity. As I drove onto the dirt road, following the well placed 'Return of the Ancestors' hand printed signs with arrows, there were times, due to the excess windblown sand on the road, combined with some pretty deep groves, that I wondered if I was going to get stuck. The 4x4 was really coming in handy at that point, even though the real reason for getting a 4x4 ford escape hybrid was so that I could tow her behind Spice Girl. And, yes, she has a name too, Queen Jasmine.

When I saw the busses that were carrying the elders come down that same road a little while later I went into spontaneous prayer, then noticed they didn't end up coming in all the way. And, after they went around another way and came up to where we were, they didn't stay there long. 'Where did the busses go?', someone asked. 'They don't like the wind,' someone answered.

Well, they weren't the only ones.

After we had gathered, and talked, and built a huge bonfire (with ten feet logs, probably so they wouldn't blow away), and om'd and sang, I made my way over to the back end of Queen Jasmine where a warm sleeping bag was laid out. I had slept there the night before when we stayed in the Grand Canyon park. It was quite comfortable, more comfortable than expected. I ended up pretty glad that my enthusiastic offers for people to come up there with me were not taken up on- it did turn out to be much smaller than i first thought. Comfy, but snug.

I woke up the next morning to sound of that hard wind and occasional sand hitting the car. When I opened the door to leave later that day the gust was so strong I couldn't open it at first. And, after the sunrise ceremony, and after frybread in the gathering house, one of the Dine elders said the wind blew like that for three months, all Spring, and that it was a good day for them.

I thought of my friend Temba who started a home building project for a family in Pine Creek, www.naturescompassion.com He started a whole movement and by the end of the deal it may be a whole eco-village. I could see those big white windmills going in the wind- my God, the electricity they could get there from those!

The sunrise ceremony had started, with maybe a hundred or so making the early call around the fire before dawn. There was a song, with hand motions, and then one of the elders (from a region in Canada I was told afterwards) came forward inside the circle, saying prayers, dancing, yelling, running, spinning. It was an odd ceremony honestly. At times when he would turn and whisper something he would almost lose his balance, making him look drunk, striking me as so oddball looking I would have to hold in a laugh, then, a moment later, some brilliant phrase and delicate and graceful movement would take my breath away. It was like life, I thought. Ridiculous and kind of rude, uninteresting or banal one moment, and then, boom, daringly, astoundingly and profoundly brilliant the next. It was so unscripted at times though it had that mad quality of motley crew-ness, of crassness, bordering on being a bit rude to the senses, and something that I had heard the first day from one of the elders rang true: when ceremony becomes ritual it loses it's life force and power. Well, this was certainly not ritual- it was a true ceremony, that's for sure. One thing about a lot of these ceremonies I noticed as well- they were long. The kind of long where you were forced into the practice of watching your mind go into story and judgment, and were forced to watch your breath, you know, pushed beyond your boredom point at times and had to practice the fine art of patience. Oh, the joys of the western conditioned mind. Expecting to be entertained every second of every day with billboards and commercials and flashy nonsense. I kept having to remind myself of where I was and what we were participating in~ we had gathered for Mother Earth, for Peace on Earth. I was quite impressed I have to say with everyone's patience level and respect for the proceedings. It was actually a wonderful diversion from the usual diversion, you know.

Anyways, after the medicine man's prayer movement, for lack of a better term, guessing there probably isn't one, a Native American woman in the circle began to speak as well. She was speaking in her native tongue, and after a few minutes her strong voice began to break and she began to force her words through tears. She broke into english for part of it, apologizing to the water, to the animals, to the air, to our Mother, asking for forgiveness for what has been done to her. Pretty soon many of those in the circle were in tears, maybe a few thinking, hey, I am living a fairly ecologically sustainable life, but that didn't seem to be the point. We had a responsibility to the Earth, if we had to apologize on the behalf of some of our brothers and sisters, so be it. And, come on, living in America, or any other industrialized and westernized city, you can pretty much bet you are contributing to the destruction of Mother Earth on some level. It's just the way we've set it all up.

Then there was the irony, that not too far from the ceremonial fire was a flagpole with the American flag raised up high, whipping in the wind, whipping so hard at times it seemed like it was going to rip in two. But it didn't. It held strong the whole time; invincible like.

A poem came from the experience a day or two later.

I ended up leaving later that morning after the fry bread. I'm used to eating raw vegan, and it was all a bit too much. Maybe eating the fry bread was part of some kind of penance. Some kind of major guilt trip feeling. It was maybe just a little too much for this middle class white girl, who, from the beginning had her mother read books with Native American themes to her over and over, who married a Native American man, and whose child is part Native American, and who, even though her skin is white, part of her Spirit is Native~~and maybe still lives in a bit of a conflict about that odd combination. Or, maybe it doesn't have anything to do with that at all. Maybe it is just about that other part. The part about it being supremely unfair. Yeah, that's it.

The Forgotten People.

Meeting for years,

again.

Praying for help.

One day it comes

It must feel like a miracle!

Hundreds of beings

from all over the world,

the Return of the Ancestors

Gathering as One

The Spring wind

throwing sand in our faces

scolding us

forcing us

to remember

our brothers and sisters

on the reservation

where have you been? it asks

The wind

it is now trying to rip

the American flag that flies above us,

but the flag wins,

again,

and the bonfire burns hot

as the sunrise ceremony

gets under way

Another day,

a good day, as it was called,

it blows like this all Spring.

A woman’s prayer

starting strong and even,

begins to burn hot like the fire,

and whip in the wind like the flag,

it comes spitting out

with tears, now,

it comes from the hollow place inside, now,

where the forgotten ones reside,

howling, begging, desperate,

and her tears become our tears

as her pain becomes our pain

we carry it with her

as her love becomes our love

and we travel together

down a road

in a land where

harsh and relentless

conditions

are called

‘good’

and where a people who

have been

forgotten

have now been remembered

The large circle forms again

after fry bread and fruit

mutton soup and blue corn mush

in the meeting place

And those whose eyes

are used to eating sand

in the Spring

are still

But those who are new to the land,

rub their eyes like children

crying

And open their hearts to the ones

who call themselves

forgotten

and will maybe now

or maybe in time

call themselves

something

else

Depending on

maybe

if we will remember

or forget them

again

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Return of the Ancestors pt II

http://jaia.gaia.com — Thu, 07 May 2009 20:00:28 GMT

The insights and integrations and inspirations are continuing to come through as my daughter and I are now back in California. We made the drive from Sedona/Cottonwood to Palm Desert and even though I ventured back into the LA area in our tow car yesterday, Spice Girl is happily parked and hooked up in Palm Desert ( I know, I know, Spice Girl is a silly name for a 32 foot RV, for one's home, but, they had the color listed as spice and it came spontaneously-- I told my daughter I wouldn't call it that, but she'll never read this :) A friend once said, Spice Girl?! Well, she's big boned I guess.

Anyways, after getting back to La La Land and Agapeland, www.agapelive.com, back with those who have been my spiritual comrades since I first found my way to the community in 2000, well, things that occurred at the gathering began to take on an even deeper meaning. There is so much appreciation for those that choose to hold a high space of love, compassion and joy- even if it doesn't get done perfectly, it gets done. Even if at times we seem to bumble along on our path, at least we are on the path, becoming ever more aware of all the trappings of ego, illusion, and, well, planned pandemics and planned profits for big pharma, and at the same time, ever more aware of our True Identity of "Inexhaustable Good" as the founder Michael Beckwith would say.

During the gathering I connected with several of the elders, many of which lived lives so completely different than we can imagine. Many were healers and shamans, and there was one in particular who captured my attention as a group of us had lunch under a shade tree in Dead Horse State Park in Cottonwood, Arizona.

I was a working volunteer that day, sporting my neon green 'harmony keeper' t-shirt, helping to direct traffic. Actually, I was not much more than a landmark by lunch time. Just someone for the person at the post ahead to refer to : "see that girl sitting under that tree in that bright green t-shirt? - turn left there".

So, I was happy and delighted when my post tree was chosen by several people to have lunch under, including a few elders and a translator. It turns out one of the elders, from Bolivia, was only 26. Not really an elder, but asked to come along on the trip, and if there was any consolation, the kids in his village referred to him as 'old man'. He was one of those shaman shapeshifters to be sure, since every time I looked at him he looked at little different. In fact, when he first sat down he looked like an elder to me and it was only after he started talking that I saw he wasn't that old, but then when he shared his age when someone asked-- wow-- now way.

He got to talking, through the translator, and it was clear he had a gift for channeling the divine energy through~ it was then that I realized that although I had heard a lot of wisdom in the previous two days, and had definitely felt some shifts with the many ceremonies, I had heard a lot of people talking about things, not so much with the energy. There were exceptions, but a lot of it was talk about, rather than talk with. Some in the mind, rather than the heart. There was talk about the Mayan Calendar, what we are coming to, the ways we are destroying the planet, the ways we can make it better, how we are all one, but, this talk under the tree was different.

After a little while he looked up and there were three birds flying in a small circle- not ordinary birds, but eagles. These same three had been flying above me when I was playing my music out by the green river the day before, and when he said that birds gather when he speaks I wondered if the birds gathered for my singing in the same way, and as soon as I wondered it I felt a strong sense of peace, a gentle kundalini, a confirmation.

When someone asked him how we can lessen our attachment to money, to not be bound by financial concerns and make them our primary focus, he picked up a plastic container of hummus that was sitting on the picnic blanket and said it was the problem. We all stared at him, waiting to see what he meant, this old-young-old-young man, sitting there on the grass, under that tree, holding a little plastic container, saying it was the problem of our obsessive money issues. It seemed silly for a moment, until he began to speak again. He said that in his village everyone works and helps in growing the food. People help to plant, to water, to harvest, to mulch.......no one pays for their food. He said that when you have to give money for what you put into your body you become connected to money in a way that is not healthy.

Now, that is a paraphrase, but it was the first time this connection, this thought, had ever been entertained in my brain. Wow. That is deep. Nature doesn't pay for her seeds, or water, or for the bees to pollenate, and when our physical survival is based on our ability to acquire something that is not even natural to us, it a way it makes a part of us unnatural, or at least dependent on something unnatural. Hmmm.... amazing food for thought. He went on to say that it is a little different when you pay for something that you wear, since it goes on the outside of your body, and not on the inside.

Now, I'm not saying that we are all contaminated with money or tainted by the unholy and damned dollar, but, what I am saying is what he said made me pause and think, and, I do believe, tap further into the vision of a world where people all work together to feed each other, take care of each other, love each other- not say, well, you don't have any of this money stuff, so you starve, sorry, I have my twenty houses to take care of. There's just something a little, you know, weird about that.....

which brings me to the weirdness I felt being on the reservation, but I think we'll save that for next time......gotta start heading back to the desert.....

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Return of the Ancestors

http://jaia.gaia.com — Sat, 02 May 2009 20:23:59 GMT

I have sat at the keyboard several times, attempting to put some words to the twelve day experience of the Return of the Ancestor gathering here in Northern Arizona from April 18-28th. It seems like eons ago now, even though it has only been a few days. I am wondering, was it just a dream? I am wondering, is it all just a dream. Well, of course....

But doesn't it seem so real? Isn't it so easy to forget with all of those important things that pull us off the path, out of our deep intention to remember what is real? Remember the dream.....

The first few days of the gathering took place on a field at Sedona High School.....the Condor Dancers opened with a beautiful and dream-like presentation. These kind of things manage to take me into that otherworld, if I don't already happen to be there, reminding me of this worlds fabrication of phenomenon. What is real? What is time? Who are we really, and what are we really doing here?

I was a volunteer at the event, with an agreement to work two of the days, and from what the event director shared, this group of condor dancers came from such a remote region that the messenger bringing the invitation to attend the gathering had to travel up a mountain on a donkey and wasn't even heard from for three weeks. The invitation needed to be deeply considered, prayed over, and intended upon~~and in the meantime to even obtain a visa, plane tickets needed to be purchased. So, after the invitation was accepted, and plane tickets were purchased, everyone then waited upon officials to approve their visas. Thankfully, they were approved.

Something that was mentioned several times by many of the elders was a world without borders....where all people were able to travel freely.....and although this was not the first time I had heard of this, it was the first time I had a full vision and feeling of existing in that world. The astonishing simplicity of a world where all people travel freely on Mother Earth, without needing permission from government officials, without old paradigm ideas of separation and fear. Would there really be masses trying to flood the borders of the US? I know everyone has been sold on the American Dream, but there are many who have been able to see the shadow side of excessive materialism and elements of the American nightmare of pharma/agri/corporate rule, the loss of soul and original thought, loss of connection to the earth. Opening all borders at this time would probably result in chaos since the collective consciousness still resides in a place of fear and separation for the most part. Are we really returning to a place of connection and peace? A place where our spirituality connects us with the Mother Earth, rather than separates us from Her and looks are Her only as something to use and conquer for our needs, rather that love, support, sustain and learn from?

One the second day of the gathering I felt my feet touching the earth, like hands on a drum, as the Lakota led a peace pipe ceremony. It was more than symbolic, more than a simple ceremony, it was the dawning of a new age~~ as hundreds gathered in widening circles around the elders, drums rumbled and singers sang songs in their native tongues........ at a certain point a large group of us began to dance in a large circle surrounding everyone, traveling around and around, on the periphery of the happening......the group from Peru was playing their music now and the sound of it reminded me of Celtic music.....and with my mainly Welsh, and also Irish, Russian, Spanish, etc. bloodline, this was sparking something as many of us began to spontaneously dance in small circles at that point, spinning each other around, catching the next person in the crook of our elbow, spinning on to the next. I could almost see the fairies dancing with us. From this a few people began to form a bridge with their arms and had us run underneath, and after coming out the other side, becoming the next link of the bridge. After going through several times, and after the music died down, I looked to my left to see that Grandmother/Elder Marguerite had joined us, smiling and laughing in the game.

The day before she had stood up to address the crowd, after many men had spoken about the feminine energy, how the feminine energy was becoming the predominant energy on the planet, how the poles were shifting (the irony that mainly men were speaking about the feminine was not lost on most of the people there!), she stood up and in a booming voice, followed closely by the english translator, proceeded to thank all of the men, all of the beautiful messages, but, in a nutshell, none of them would be there without a woman, thank you very much. This was met by loud applause~ her confidence and playful and outspoken ways were infectious, and it made me even more aware of how it really is time for the women to stand in their wisdom, in their power, in their authentic goddess self.

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Goddesses Rewrite!!

http://jaia.gaia.com — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 17:43:21 GMT

The other day marked the first official meeting of a small group of women I have known for years. Not all of us are in the Southern California area, and some of us even live on wheels :), so we meet by conference call. Our reason for meeting? Goddess Mastermind. To support each other in our visions and dreams, to gently call each other on our stuff, and to move forward in service to planetary healing and awakening. Whew, no small intention and no small potatoes in this group.

So, as we began yesterday we realized the material we were working with, which included steps, needed to be rewritten to account for the insights and teachings we had been expanding into over the years. For instance, the first step used words like powerless and problems, and ended with the sentence, I need help. Now, having an insight that you can use some help is one thing, but repeating these kinds of things every week is a goddess gal no-no. Unless you would like to continually repeat your experience of problems, powerlessness and needing help. We all agreed we didn't. After going through and releasing all sorts of negative focus and pity party language, another thing that sent the Kali Klan radar off was the word change. It seems good enough at first glance. We want change, you know. But it didn't resonate with any of us, and after a little conversation we realized why, and why the word transformation was much more appropriate for our purposes. Change is superficial. Transformation is deep. Change can be fleeting. If you change something, the next week you can change it again, or change it back. Once something transforms though, there is no going back. It is not a surface level change, it has become something entirely different at core. You change a habit, and you can have better habits, but it doesn't actually mean anything significant has changed. Behavior changing is good, one can replace one behavior for another, but it doesn't mean that person knows themselves any more than they did when they were engaged in the previous behavior. They could be just as unconscious as they always were, but behaving differently. It doesn't even mean they are in alignment with the deeper reason they are on the planet, just doing things differently. Nice, but on a deeper level, the Goddess says, so what?

So, just to be clear, I don't want to be changed. I don't want change. In fact, I don't want anything, in this moment, I am 'transformed by the renewing of my mind', I am whole, I am complete, I am free, living with an open heart, loving the adventure, in service to God's Divine Idea known as Jaia. And so it is!!

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The Lie of Perfection

http://jaia.gaia.com — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 17:24:00 GMT

After a intense inner meltdown yesterday I was inspired this morning upon waking by an insight as to the true nature of perfection. This is the type of insight that could help millions escape the competitive, judgmental, militant societal attitudes that create great psychological damage and are the very reason for the massive amount of addiction, violence, and chaos in the world. Sound like too much of a generalization? Too great a promise? I mean really, what kind of insight could have such an effect on humanities great problems and imbalances?

When I saw the Dalai Lama speak at UCLA some years back I remember him responding to someone's question, "What is this word, better?" Even though there was a translator present, he did not need a definition of the word, he understood it perfectly well- better than most of us one could say. He went on to say that this western idea was the cause of much suffering.

What is it in us that strives to be better? Strives to be greater? For perfection?

There are a few layers to this question. One part in us that strives for it is the part which can never attain it, making it a perfect vehicle for the ego. If the mind creates an idea that we can never live up to, and when we constantly fall short, we have plenty of ammunition to use against ourselves. These self created judgments can lead us to reach for the drink, the cigarette, the tv remote control, the phone......all so we don't have to feel those horrible feelings and to face the fact that we aren't perfect. Oh my god. I'm not perfect. How horrible. What a disgrace.

Another part inside of us that strives for perfection is the part that remembers the Truth about us. It is aware on some level of our inherent perfection, the spiritual dimension of our immortal being. "Have I not told you, ye are God?" rings in our ears as we are simultaneously told we are sinners incapable of such an honor.

With greater awareness we may come to know ourselves, well, better, and rather than seeking perfection in the physical, ego, material world, we seek to have an insight to our true nature. The part that doesn't need to attain perfection, because it already is. We give up trying to make our lives perfect, or the need to impress anyone, or even to improve ourselves, and just simply allow our true nature to emerge. This is a different way to do it. So, how to do this when we have commercials and billboards letting us know throughout the day that we are not enough as we are?

1. Be still and know that I Am in the midst of you. There is no substitute for quieting the mind and becoming aware of thoughts, feelings, sensations that are usually kept beneath surface daily activities and the constant activity of the mind.

2. Forgive 7x70. Or is is 70x7? Either way, it's a lot. I'm not a bible scholar, but some of the stuff in there comes from deep wisdom. Now if only we can practice it. Forgiveness is the stuff of miracles and liberation.

3. Let go. If you realize there is some idea that you are trying to live up to, some persona that you have created that you need to fit into in order to feel good about yourself, and if that is anything less than in the image and likeness of God, then let it go. Let go of trying and accept the truth that You already Are. "I am enough just as I am," is a good mantra. Sound a little hokey? Maybe. But, it's true. And, it's much different from, "I am not good enough yet", which is the prevailing unconscious mantra so many of us chant without realizing it, since it is the chant of western society.

It also occurred to me that this depressive, weighted, yesterday, which felt like it would last forever, after it had been gone through, in hindsight I found that it really wasn't that bad. Yes, it was dark and ugly inside, and it was painful, and for the most part, I'm not even sure what it was about--- but I realized that in the end it wasn't all that bad and before I would have done just about anything in the world to avoid going through this kind of stuff.

Formerly 250 pounds, processed food and sugar has been a great way to avoid feeling that I wasn't perfect. This was a particularly insidious one since at 250 pounds you cannot hide the fact that you are definitely not perfect (or, at least your body is not, but at that level of awareness, the body is identified as self, so in essence you are not perfect) and are reminded of this painful fact every time you pass a mirror. At least with smoking (which I did too), or drugs and alcohol (yep), addictive relationships (oh yeah), or other things like workaholism or trying to be loved by everyone (done that one as well), or antidepressants; at least with these you can at least appear perfect-- the ego idea of perfect at least. You can somewhat get away with the idea that you are perfect, based on a physical condition, before the ego crashes through again with it's judgment of how you are not quite there yet. Not quite good enough. You need to be....you know..... better.

So, I'll be allowing this insight to gestate within, already feeling liberated from the perfection trap on a new level, and continuing to hear the Dalai Lama's words, 'What is this word, better?"

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Food of the Goddess

http://jaia.gaia.com — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 23:24:46 GMT

Here is a link to an upcoming event on Sunday.

Looking forward to seeing all who can make it.

Also presenting at the Bodhi Tree Annex on January 30th.

Blessings!! xxoo Jaia

http://www.agapelive.com/index.php?anchor=calendar&sx=0&sy=0&cal_event_id=1062&cal_event_date=1231690510&cal_clipboard_event=

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Ayiya Pachamama

http://jaia.gaia.com — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 23:28:48 GMT

After three months at the Tree of Life, out in the middle of nowhere, (in a beautiful way), Patagonia, Arizona, orgainic spiritual gardening program/apprenticeship, and after coming to Palm Desert, Ca, mid December, spending time with my dad and Angel mom, then participating in the annual New Years Mediation retreat at Agape.....well, it has been of inner reflection, healing, grace, connection with Mother Nature, and inner quiet. My daughter is still with me, although she has mentioned more than a few times that she may be done with life on the road full time in the RV.

This year feels to be an ever deepening connection and awareness to this beautiful Mother Earth, Elementals, Devas, and the Divine Feminine energy in all forms. When I travelled with Agape to Peru in 2002 I brought back a crystal figure of Pachamama, the Earth Mother. I felt strongly pulled to bring her on a hike with a friend in the Palm Springs area, then also to the meditation retreat. One of our shaman guides from Peru had also emailed me the week before, after not hearing from him for quite a while. So, the energy was present,,,,,,Pachamama is calling. Then the night of the New Year, Michael and Rickie who facilitated the retreat handed it over to a shaman friend from Peru and we participated in a corn ceremony....shouting out Ayiya Pachamama (here I am, Earth Mother) . It feels like a year that Mother Earth needs us here more than ever.

This Sunday I will be giving a talk at Agape in Culver City, called Food of the Goddess; Eating for Spiritual Alignment and Planetary Healing. Bringing it all together as they say. The link is

http://www.agapelive.com/index.php?anchor=calendar&sx=0&sy=0&cal_event_id=1062&cal_event_date=1231715001&cal_clipboard_event= here's to a year of caring for ourselves and the Mother

Ayiya Pachamama!!

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Gabion Building 101

http://jaia.gaia.com — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 14:50:02 GMT

A picture of our crew with our newly built gabion. Yay!

Our garden manager took the week off last week leaving us in the hands of a local Patagonian and brilliant permaculturist. I learned so much, not just in the particulars, but in the far-reaching, time-appreciating patience that it takes to build something which supports our great mother earth, instead of depleting her. It feels to be a whole different thing when the intentin is to live in harmony with the earth, to take ecology into consideration, rather than just plant things where we want them when we want them how we want them.
Even though I have travelled extensively, I have lived in Southern California cities my entire 42 years, and I have been somewhat environmentally and permaculturally clueless. I replaced harsh chemicals years ago in favor of eco friendly ones, slowly evolved to eating vegan which is a huge lessening of resources and polution on the planet, became more aware of where my clothes were being made, etc., but being out here is a whole other level. When Kate spoke of her house building plans, how her mentor taught her by his way of surveying land for six months to a year before even thinking of breaking ground- to see how the water flows, tracking animal walking routes, wind patterns, etc. to see where buildings could most flow with the surrounding land and habitat and least interfere with it, well, it gave another meaning to patience, care and thoughtfulness. The saying that came up earlier, the Devils in the Details, came along with us here, showing that there are ways to create sustainable and eco friendly living spaces. Ones that value beauty as much as practicality as much as loving, respecting and caring for the earth. It was truly inspiring.

Our project with Kate was to build a gabion, a wire structure full of rocks, to help to prevent further water erosion on a river banks when the monsoons come next summer. My gym membership is on hold at the moment- it was surely not needed last week!!

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Precious

http://jaia.gaia.com — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 14:23:13 GMT

A week or so ago one of the garden guinea birds passed on.
Even though this particular bird, Precious, had never developed like the others, she had become somewhat of a favorite because of her odd (for a guinea) ways. She never ate grasshoppers, preferring a vegan diet like the rest of us here at the Tree. She would also leave her pack many times as they roamed through the garden in a meandering mass and make her way over to us, not quite sure which pack she belonged to. It was so sweet, so cute....so.....precious.
Her passing reminded me of the profound impact every life has.....that every life matters.....she reminded me of the beauty and perfection of the seeming imperfection, to appreciate each day, and that we are here to be, and express, our own Precious Self!

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Pie Party Picture!

http://jaia.gaia.com — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 20:52:39 GMT

Here is the gang....enjoying the pie samplings....getting ready to pick their favorite.

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Rothrawk Pie Party

http://jaia.gaia.com — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 20:43:28 GMT

Wow. Such a sweet (no put intended) party last night!
It was the annual raw pie contest/party held at the Rothrawk Alley house here in Patagonia. There was such an amazing selection, and of course you had to have some of each one in order to vote. Thank you Sevrah for this amazing offering-- and how organized everything was! Everyone is so used to working as a team in the kitchen or the garden or the office, there is a natural level of efficiency.....everyone seemed to go into work-flow mode. The winner was ______, with his not pie, pie (pictured) (okay I will have to get the name straight and come back and edit- I have most names down....)
(also, is a not pie really a pie?? hmmm... no one seemed to notice.....it was soooo good.. all of them were sooooo good!!)
I have to say my organic heirloom pumpkin pie was acknowledged as the most authentic......the durian pie from the clover club was given the most likely to get lucky (durian is thought to be an aphrodisiac), there was James grape macadamia which was deemed the cutest pie, and many many- 10 altogether- others. I dont think Ive ever seen a group enjoy their food more! Yay raw living food!!

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The Greenhouse Effect

http://jaia.gaia.com — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 20:29:37 GMT

Once again, the title may be a little deceiving. What can I say? Creative liscense? Creative spelling one too I guess. Anyway.....

On Friday our garden apprentice crew here at the Tree of Life (Now known as the Clover Club, given my daughters penchant for locating four leaf clovers, and giving them to everyone in the group to put in their nametag.) Anyway,,,,
Friday was the day one of the new greenhouse domes was ready to be prepared for planting. This was much more exciting news before we learned we were going to be the ones preparing it! Kidding, kidding. In fact, I actually didnt know I had it in me to shovel dirt and gravel into wheelbarrels for several hours. After nearing exhaustion (which could be discerned by the fact that not only had we begun singing that inspiration classic....Hi ho, hi ho,.....we also all picked corresponding dwarf names) , we finally had the last bit of dirt spread into the raised beds inside. Yay! Completion. And, the energy is great!!

I mentioned Shabbat is on Friday evenings here at the tree, but I am not sure any garden apprentices made it. I had an image of the circle dance, when the jumping and kicking started, those from the Clover Club falling out left, right, and center....just, you know, collapsing. A funny thought. Then maybe everyone could have just dragged us into the center for the healing part of the evening. But seriously, it feels good to work like that and still know you have it in you. Of course it is nearing the end of October, so tempatures are only about 80f, and everyone has acclimated to the altitude and healing energy vortex, and raw food end of things, so that was a plus.
One thing. They are not kidding when they say this a space to discover yourself, heal, and know god. My back was in good enough shape to work the next day.....could not help but think.....there must be a god!

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Yom Kippur at the Tree

http://jaia.gaia.com — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 13:36:58 GMT

I have never participated in Yom Kippur before, or known much of anything about Jewish tradition, but here at the Tree of Life it is an integral part of life- shabbat every Friday, ending the night and celebrating the new day with the setting of the sun (that one feels so in alignment with the natural cycle), and other ceremonies, along with american indian sweat lodges and other spiritual practices.
Yesterday I was called to go through the Yom Kippur ceremony in the Temple with about 20 other people, led by Gabriel and Shanti Cousens. What a profound gift. What a beautiful remembering of sacrifice and surrender. And what a feast afterwards!! We broke the 26 hour dry fast in the temple with raw grape juice and living challah bread (sp?) and then came down from the temple to eat together. It just so happened to be the party for the cafe apprentices and there was a table full of raw chocolate, brownies, pastries and divine food of the goddess YUMMINESS. Wow!!! This place is simply amazing.....simply.

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Joyfully Congregated

http://jaia.gaia.com — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 13:30:52 GMT

those who have gathered from near and far
seen modern society as strange and bizzarre
who have felt the call to live in grace
who have overcome the ego need to chase

who have listened to the ancestors as they have told
do not be attached to a material world
for it will fall in these times, nearing 2012
let go of the things of the small self

for if you let go of the mind you are free
and you will reside in eternity
and all of your worries and doubts of this plane
will be transmuted to a higher frame

no longer will you grasp and hold on and fear
you will live with the angels my dear
and as they guide you to your desitny
you realize what you were born to be

they say the market is crashing
and we are heading for doom
but it is universal law
sweeping out with a broom
all that does not work
what has been built on greed
a new world is being born
a new world indeed
so instead of fearing
it is time to celebrate
a new world is coming
one built on faith,
one built on love, and peace, and joy
and a world built on Truth
no thing can destroy

it is not built just in the world
it is built in the heart
so now is the time to let go
and make a new start
get out of your mind
and into what is Real
not what you can see
or what your hands can feel
but what has been planted
deep in your soul
what is asking to be born
what you have always known

you have come to this earth
to heal and grow,
to remember and plant
the seeds of your soul,
no longer cut off
no longer separated
but grateful for the One of us
joyfully, finally, congragated

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The Devil is in the Details

http://jaia.gaia.com — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 02:51:13 GMT

What does an Arizona sunset have to do with this saying? Nothing actually. I just took this picture on my way back to Patagonia from Tuscon about an hour ago. It was so beautiful thought I would share it.

Funny that a week ago I had never heard this saying before. In fact, when one of my fellow garden apprentices mentioned it, both myself and another apprentice, Jane, said, Oh no, It isnt Devil in the Details, its God is in the Details. We both were familiar with that phrase, but had never heard the devil thing before. It became a running joke for the next few days. Its the devil, we joked about more than a few things. In the details, you know.
Now, it just so happens that I was reading Paulo Coelho's new book, Brida. Great read, by the way, and if you do happen to pick it up you will notice that midway one of the characters mentions the phrase, the devil is in the details. No way. Too strange, although in the flow the synchronicities do come. In the book the character went on to explain that the phrase usually came up as a warning to pay attention. As I understand it, the phrase means that if you do not pay attention to the details, it will come back to get you. You will be sorry. So, I had to ask myself, what was it that I needed to pay attention to right now.
What were these devilish details that I needed to pay attention to and take care of?
One of the other main themes of the book is that of the Soul Mate. Interestingly, I have been in the habit of picking an angel card every morning, of the Doreen Virture variety, and over the last two weeks three cards have shown up consistently. Music, Study, and Soul Mate. I have to say the relationship area has not been the most pleasant in the past and every time that card comes up, so does an impulse to pull a card the way my daughter does. If she doesnt like what she gets she puts it back and draws another one. Well, if she can get the deck from me.
I wonder.
Can you put your Soul Mate back in the deck and pick another one if you don't like the one you get? Is it really best to create a relationship/partner manifestation checklist (which seems it would come mostly from an ego trying to get what it wants, rather than from a Soul interested in unconditional love, non-attachment, spiritual growth and selfless service.)

So, in this moment I am understanding that if I would rather attract an angel than a devil in relationship, I need to be clear in the details of what is desired. Knowing only the highest good is served in any relationship. Grateful for all of the lessons learned, all of the connections in the past, and to let go of any devilish resentments or limiting ideas of relationship from the past that may still exist in consciousness.
And in the meantime keep enjoying these beautiful sunsets, time in the garden, my wonderful co-apprentices, gormet raw food, satsang and shabbat and every other blessed adventure here at the Tree of Life.
Om Shanti.

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The Garden

http://jaia.gaia.com — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 15:58:15 GMT

Insights and integrations are beginning to come as the body continues to adjust to the altitude and dryness of the high desert here in Arizona. Grateful to be in the garden here at the Tree of Life and tuning into the Mother energy.

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September 29th

http://jaia.gaia.com — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 06:08:15 GMT

A special ceremony for the holy day was held in the Temple here at the Tree of Life the other day, and only did it occur to me, after we said prayers, sat in silence forgiving all those that we imagined we needed to forgive, all the ways we imagined we needed to forgive ourselves, that it was Septmeber 29th, a very significant day in my life for whatever perfect reason. It initially marked my wedding anniversary, and six years later coincidentally and in a cosmic joke kind of way, marked my exit.

The gardening program here at the tree is nothing like I thought it would be, although I have to say the whole thing happened so quickly and divinely I hadnt given it much thought. Just trusted, signed up, and showed up. For our application I said that I was in reasonably good shape, even worked out at the gym five times a week. But, I had not been working out for six to eight hours a day, in high elevation, in a dry desert, in 90 degree weather and in direct sunlight,and in an intentional community with land containing healing vortexes. Things came to a head yesterday, when feeling especially dizzy I said I needed to sit down for a bit and not only did I sit for hours not able to get up, but drifted in and out of consciousness, had visions, sweated profousely from only one area of my body, the solar plexus, and, remembered that the last healing crisis/fainting spell I had was in the desert during a ceremony in Sedona a year and a half before, that led to the selling of my home and most of everything I owned.
Hmmm.....wondering what on earth we have signed up for here!
And, now that some of the toxins have been purified out, the body has adjusted to the altitude, has been sufficiently hydrated, and gotten used to the level of physical work enough to do more than eat, take showers, go to temple, and sleep, and sleep, and sleep,,,,,maybe there will even be more entries....and pictures!!
Om Shanti.

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Om Shanti !

http://jaia.gaia.com — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 05:35:28 GMT

On this International Peace Day let us all imagine a time when every day is Peace Day, that consciousness is so infused with the Truth of Who We Are we no longer need a day to remember peace and to focus on peace, we simply live as peace in every breath.

That vision is so clear....
that being said, today was brilliant....
to be able to feel the waves of bliss and joy flow through the body as many meditated on peace on earth.

This evening there was a peace meditation at the Tree of Life, where Ariel and I areanchored for three months on an organic gardening apprenticeship.

About the Tree:
Were not in Kansas anymore Dorthy.
We're in Heaven

More soon

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Angel

http://jaia.gaia.com — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 00:18:48 GMT

Along with a beautiful new practice, and new friends via the Bhakti Kriya intiation in the desert, and angel came back with me. She was staring at me all weekend and when I found out the art was for sale there was a deep knowing that she was to come home with me to look over the studio apartment since I'm not there too much.
My cd is complete now- the mixing stage finally over- and after allmost four years of on again, off again, there is much clarity as to why some of it wasn't really working for me. Because some of it is not in my genre and style of music! Yes, I can be a little slow...and in the past have been talked into things, giving in rather than going to battle so to speak. But there would have been no need for such disparency if I would have been more clear in the beginning. There was such a strong sense that I didn't know what I was doing, but, how could I not have an idea of what the songs were to sound like when they came through me. Yes, collaberation is good, but its good to collaberate with those of same intentions, same musical ideas, same visions and sounds. Can't help but ask how I brought all of this on myself, and can't help but see it oh so clear. Can anyone say.....pateince.....
Truly, truly grateful for the love and care and attention and time and energy that has gone into the cd with some very remarkable and great sounding stuff....and a few tracks that will have to be let go of. Ah.......the whole art thing.
I'll have to have Angel listen to it and see what she thinks.....

If you want to hear the bhakti kriya interview on the beyond belief radio show go to www.sedonatalkradio.com and click on the living beyond belief with jaia lee link from the list on the left. Had a great time with Swami VK.

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