When I saw the Dalai Lama speak at UCLA some years back I remember him responding to someone's question, "What is this word, better?"  Even though there was a translator present, he did not need a definition of the word, he understood it perfectly well- better than most of us one could say.  He went on to say that this western idea was the cause of much suffering.

What is it in us that strives to be better?  Strives to be greater?  For perfection?  

There are a few layers to this question.  One part in us that strives for it is the part which can never attain it, making it a perfect vehicle for the ego.  If the mind creates an idea that we can never live up to, and when we constantly fall short, we have plenty of ammunition to use against ourselves.  These self created judgments can lead us to reach for the drink, the cigarette, the tv remote control, the phone......all so we don't have to feel those horrible feelings and to face the fact that we aren't perfect.  Oh my god. I'm not perfect.  How horrible.  What a disgrace.  

So, as we began yesterday we realized the material we were working with, which included steps, needed to be rewritten to account for the insights and teachings we had been expanding into over the years.  For instance, the first step used words like powerless and problems, and ended with the sentence, I need help.  Now, having an insight that you can use some help is one thing, but repeating these kinds of things every week is a goddess gal no-no.  Unless you would like to continually repeat your experience of problems, powerlessness and needing help.  We all agreed we didn't. After going through and releasing all sorts of negative focus and pity party language, another thing that sent the Kali Klan radar off was the word change.  It seems good enough at first glance.  We want change, you know.  But it didn't resonate with any of us, and after a little conversation we realized why, and why the word transformation was much more appropriate for our purposes.  Change is superficial.  Transformation is deep.  Change can be fleeting.  If you change something, the next week you can change it again, or change it back.  Once something transforms though, there is no going back.  It is not a surface level change, it has become something entirely different at core. You change a habit, and you can have better habits, but it doesn't actually mean anything significant has changed.  Behavior changing is good, one can replace one behavior for another, but it doesn't mean that person knows themselves any more than they did when they were engaged in the previous behavior.  They could be just as unconscious as they always were, but behaving differently.  It doesn't even mean they are in alignment with the deeper reason they are on the planet, just doing things differently.  Nice, but on a deeper level, the Goddess says, so what?

So, just to be clear, I don't want to be changed.  I don't want change.  In fact, I don't want anything, in this moment, I am 'transformed by the renewing of my mind', I am whole, I am complete, I am free, living with an open heart, loving the adventure, in service to God's Divine Idea known as Jaia.  And so it is!!