What does bump and grind have to do with.....
It's actually the name of a trail here in Palm Desert.  A beautiful scenic trail which was calling me from the front page of the newspaper the first day after we arrived here in Palm Desert.
So good to be out in the desert- the tempatures have remained in the 80's and the time spent with Dad and my angelmom (stepmom) have been incredibly sweet.
Can't remember where the sun was, so dont know if that was reflecting light or a orb friend along for the hike.

For years there's been this sense around things coming together in the Springtime.  The first time it came in strongly, after an awakening experience, and a leaving behind of old patterns, a hundred pounds of weight, etc etc. was about ten years ago.  It's amazing how much we carry.  Until we no longer do. 

After this expanded period, an integration period began which has included seeming initiation after initiation, consisting of purifications that seemed to make me wish the whole awakening thing had never even happened. Kind of like when you're pregnant, everyone tells you how excited they are for you, but fail to mention just how mindnumbingly painful the contractions, as well as the birth itself, is.  But, we stay the course.  What else can we do? We're carrying a child- we have no choice.  We are commited. 
And so it is in the co-creative birthing process.  Not manifesting a new home.  But manifesting a new life- a new us. One that is completely different than the old one.  How impossible and daunting is this work at times!  How crazy. How mad. 
How necessary.
So,  this message of Springtime kept coming way back then.  Something very significant happening in the Springtime.  The song The Rose was speaking to the heart, along with many things.  So Spring came that year with all of it's promise, and then it went.  Still that inner state of unity and total freedom that was once there seemed elusive.  That's strange....those messages were usually right on.  Always.  Then the next year, Spring came again.  And left.  And then it came again.  And left.  And after about ten years the mind finally gave up......and so many beautiful manifestations, world travels and new co-hearts, so much healing and learning, and so much to be in awe of and grateful of, that at some point in the game we finally forgot about the promise of Spring and just accepted whatever came as perfect- no longer wishing for anything more.  

And now, for no reason at all, it seems this is the Spring that was promised so long ago.  It is an inner Spring but an outer one as well.  The promise of freedom once again, coming from an impossible suggestion from Spirit to sell everything and move into an RV.  We got a taste of what this whole adventure may be about today.  Soon we will have a camera to film these experiences and capture on video which is only captured in words at this time.

There is a health spa in Desert Hot Springs called, so incredibly appropriately, The Spring.  (www.the-spring.com) Oh my goodness.  I've done spa many a time in many a place, but this experience today took the proverbial raw cake.  There are natural mineral pools and just drinking the water while checking in put me in a state of ecstatic inner gratitude.  I chose a spa package called The Bloom (beyond incredibly appropriate) which consisted of a salt scrub massage, aromatherapy massage, ending with a reflexology session.  Oh my Lord.  I literally felt like a flower opening to the light.  Talk about bloom.  And glow.  And gratitude. I met others who also had that package.  It seemed like quite a few were into the bloom today.  A new friend Lynda, who we met in the indoor hot pool, (which is kept at about 100 heavenly degrees), shared that she had gotten fired on Friday and said it was the best thing that could have happened, since, as each day goes by, she's realizing just how miserable she had been.  It's amazing what we carry. Until we no longer do.

She said her mother had called her a few days ago asking her to come out to the desert from her home in Southern California.  She initially responded by saying she just had too much to take care of, which she did.  Right after hanging up the phone though, she opened a book of Bhuddist wisdom which said you must always honor your parents and if they ask you to do something, you must do it.  She called her mother back and told her she'd be out.  You gotta love guidance like that- doesn't get much clearer..  Her mother now joined us in the pool room saying it was the Bhuddist form of Jewish guilt.  Lynda then said exactly what I was thinking, which was she had the sense that we were supposed to meet. today.  Another divine appointment.  I notice how these special meetings happen when we are in flow and override the usual constraints of the mental box of "I can't", in whatever form it comes.  And when we are in practice and open to the clues. I had a strong urge to give her one of my books, so I did. She had a strong urge to offer me the use of her home in a beautiful beach town in Southern California since she would only be there a few days out of the week now.  So she did. 
Gotta love the flow.


The night before I had participated in a teleseminar with a healer from India who uses mantras- the mantras have been calling to me in a way they never have before and it's becoming a new focus and study and love.  There was an incredible amount of energy that moved within during that call.  Extremely subtle movements. Intense inner movements. Lots of emotional release as well.  So very beautiful.  Right before that call, there was an opportunity to bring something to the awareness to someone that I have known for some time- while asking to no longer be part of a certain club/business venture.  My initial request to no longer participate was met with an attack of sorts, a response of 'What part of this don't you understand? I"m doing you a favor here." I replied that I didn't like the tone, or the tone of other emails in the past, that I was not in fact a moron just because I didn't want to participate,  and this was met by a blast of negativity, swearing, and outright attack.  It was very suprising actually, since this is someone that I have known for years and is, on all outward appearances, on a spiritual path.  There are no accidents though.  Life will give us exactly what we have asked for.  On the path of the heart it is no longer what we want, it is what we need.  Rather than just back down, which was the old pattern, and feel abused or hurt, or even continue to participate even though I was no longer feeling pulled to participate! -the energy was present and calm.  I understood why I hadn't been pulled to participate in this program and got a sense of just how much of an energy drain it had been the whole time, given the energy that was being hurtled in my direction.  I also got a sense of why I had unconsciously chosen to participate, but after setting a strong intention to heal whatever was in the way of being of greater service, it was obvious this was one of the things that needed to fall away.  It wasn't in alignment with the energy.  It was a logical mental association, but no longer matched the heart energy.  And, the healer had done healing around sealing energetic leaks.  Powerful stuff.

So, at the spa today, after the encounter with Lynda and her mom, I was on my way down to shower, taking a stone path, and was met by one of the smallest hummingbirds I had ever seen.  He swooped up, then back, then darted between the branches of a tall bush like it was a maze.  He was so incredibly sweet and playful and tears came to my eyes as he came to hover in front of me, only a foot away from my face, again and again and again.  The hummingbird represents joy and he seemed to be saying, it's okay to be joyful, it's okay to be free, it's okay to be happy.  And, this joy that is opening again, this small delicate joy, that can go to a spa and be pampered without guilt, and be met by magical new friends, in human and bird form, this joy is so grateful to be allowed.  So grateful to be given the space to be. So grateful to be allowed to bloom and to fly.

At the moment I am reading the bestselling book Eat, Pray,. Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert..  You must read this book.  I am only at the end of the first section on Italy.  So, I must read this book as well.  It was so incredibly perfect, so incredibly sweet to finish it there in the hot spring, bringing tears of gratitude to my eyes in the paralel of experience- even if I had initially not seen the few pounds I had put on as a good thing.  Right as I was finishing, tears in eyes and all, Lynda came in to the room.

I came to Italy pinched and thin.  I did not yet know what I deserved.  I still maybe don't fully know what I deserve.  But I do know that I have collected myself of late- through the enjoyment of harmless pleasures- into somebody much more intact. The easiest, most fundumentally human way to say it is I have put on weight.  I exist more now than I did four months ago.  I will leave Itally noticeably bigger than when I arrived here. And I will leave with the hope that the expansion of one person- the magnification of one life- is indeed an act of worth in this world.  Even if that life, just this one time, happens to be nobody's but my own.

Amen.

Another blooming memory came today.
During the vision years ago, which came incidentally during a visioning workshop led by Michael Beckwith at Agape (http://www.agapelive.com/) , I had seen myself driving an RV with the course in miracles playing.  It came in so clear, and for those of you that have been following the unfolding adventure, we sold the home and just about everything else to move into an RV years later, being guided and urged step by step.  So, now here we are out in Palm Desert, being wowed by the universal whole in synchronistic and delightful ways, heart expanding and opening, breaking wide open again and again, and here comes the memory this morning of being at that workshop and after the vision process was complete a song was played.  It was one of Rickie's and Rev's, one that I haven't heard in ages actually, Radiant Faith.  Beautiful song~~ and part of the lyrics had me in tears again as the beauty of confirmation, of being divinely supported and guided and never ever alone, and in Truth, never ever apart. 
I'm living in the desert
and the Rose is blooming,
on the highway for my God.
Living on the Hiiiiiiiiway, for my God.

I'm sure the word 'highway' was not meant to be literal, but a beautiful way to say an individual is intentionally committing to taking the higher road to God, to Life, to the Higher Self, as an act of faith, as an act of love, as an act for gratitude. But for me that day, it was as literal as it got.  And again, it comes as a literal reminder of the support that is everywhere when one lives from the heart and soul and follows those deep urgings and calls.  And, how quiet and still we must be to begin to hear those deep whisperings of the soul.

A book review  for the Living Beyond Belief book was brought to our attention today~
http://www.bookpleasures.com/Lore2/idx/0/3472/article/Living_Beyond_Belief.html
so grateful for the opportunity to share from the heart and serve from the soul

Went to dad's and 'angel mom's' house last night to have some potluck and play some yahtzee.  I have to say, it was the last round, the only place open on my scorecard was the yahtzee space, and I said something like, okay, this is the point in the game where Jaia gets yahtzee ( where all five die land on the same number).  On the first role there were three one's, and yes, believe it or not, we somehow pulled it off!!
I'm now working on things like, this is the point in the game where Jaia saves the world.  Or, maybe to start, this is where Jaia gets organized.  This is the point in the game where Jaia gets everything on the list checked off and taken care of.  Hmm.....anyways.....It was great to hang out and play--- we leave the desert in a few days.....

For whatever perfect reason it was suddenly all about China.
It started as I got ready to watch the Ten Questions for the Dalai Lama dvd.  I was looking at a copy of my book (can't remember why) and for the first time noticed that it was printed in China. 
China?
I thought it was printed in the US, but then remembered the publisher talking about prices, and having a sense that it was going to be printed overseas.  I helped out with a book project a few years back and they had it printed in Hong Kong, so maybe assumed it was being printed there.
But China?
And then right after that I saw the dvd, reminding of the injustice that China has inflicted upon the Tibetian people, and then in the news- the olymic size controversy.  My Lord, what do I do?  Boycott my own book?

Then the very next day I had a review of my book forwarded to me.  It was a great review, and it would have gotten four and a half stars, but they took a star off...why?...because it was printed in China.   http://www.curledup.com/bebelief.htm
What is up with this China printing stuff?!

Now that I know about the whole ecological unsoundness of books being printed abroad, and will surely lobby for the recycled paper option next time, after sitting with it these past few days there's something kinda cool about the book being printed in China.

During the twelve week classes I've facilitated around the living beyond belief book, during the opening meditation we used to send loving energy to Bush, especially during the past election time, and the weapons of mass destruction thing.  At times this suggestion created a lot of resistance, but soon it was seen for the healing and powerful exercise it was.  The Truth is, there is no one 'out there' and if we are to create a peaceful world we need to start within.  Living Beyond Belief is about letting go of all judgments and all barriers.  Not condoning violence or greed, but living in a space of compassion and recognizing the One that is Us, beyond the ego appearance.  Beyond the illusion and small story that we are growing out of.  We simply can't afford to hate and blame and judge and condemn anymore.  We need to do something different. 
So, with this note I send gratitude to all those who had a hand in the printing of my book in China, and send peaceful healing thoughts to the Chinese government- knowing there is only One of Us Here; One Heart, One Life, One Love.
Seeing this beautiful planet whole and healed.

(And, we did up the monthly ante that we give to the environmental group we belong to.....)
And so It Is