The Freedom of Discipline

Well, we've got our jobs, our nine to five's
But why does it look like, we're just doing time
Live for the weekend, live to get high
Live for the future, live to get by
Are we free, Are we free, Are we free, What does it mean, To be free?
-from the song  Are we Free?,  by Jaia

Just as there are many levels of freedom, there are many levels of discipline.
While we may start out with the intention to 'grow up' and be more disciplined and well organized, after a time we may begin to ask the question, according to whom?
Or what.
We may begin by learning self-control and the importance of keeping our word to ourselves and others.  This gives us a sense of mastery as we learn we can trust ourselves to do what needs to be done according to who we think we are and what we think we are supposed to be doing.  This ability to self-control gives us a palpable feeling of freedom from the lower desires, habits, and addictions that had formerly run our lives.

There may come a day though, where a deeper level of freedom is felt and we begin to get a sense that there is an entirely new possibility we hadn't been aware of before.  A new level of freedom that exists outside of our current paradigms of thought and understanding.
And, as we move to a new level in anything, we find it doesn't involve doing more of what we have been doing, it involves the impossible task of letting go of what we know and learning to do things an entireley new way. 
This is not something that is done once, but that is done many times as we continue to grow and evolve and unfold into our spiritual destiny of awakened beings.

Any time we think we have found the answer in the world, the answer to our problems through a system of thought, no matter how great the philosophy is, our growth will be put on hold and begin to stagnate if we fall under the illusion that it is the system of thought that has freed us.  As eternal beings of infinite possibility any system of thought is too confining for us.  There are systems which can help us connect with the Authentic Self  at certain times in our lives but we have to discern when we are no longer connecting with the Self, when these systems no longer keeps us awake, but have merely ushered us into a new fantasy, a new system of thought to live under, a new in-club to belong to, a new illusion to wake up from.  Former freedoms can become current prison cells if we don't let go of them when the time comes.  There is a comfort in conformity to groups who have found the answer.  There is a sense of beloning, but if the belonging is based on anything other than an intention for each individual belonging to the Self it is no different than any religion that dictates our way is the way, and if you're not one of us, you're just not in the loop, which, if you think about it, is another way of saying, our illusion is better than your illusion.

In an excercise many years ago I was asked what qualities I came in to this world to master.   Even though every spiritual quality is a reflection of and extention of all others, and will lead to all others, the two that came in very strongly were Freedom and Trust.
Given past circumstances of addictions to drugs, alcohol, cigarettes and food, as well as living pretty much as a prisoner in an abusive and controlling relationship for eleven years, I have asked myself many times over, What is Freedom?  What is it really?  Beyond the superficial and obvious.  What is Freedom?
In the beginning freedom is all about doing whatever you feel like.  That is the teenage rendition and if we look around at our western society, one might say we are in our teenage years.  Obsession with material things, obsession and juvinille view of sex, obsession with belonging and fitting in, obsession with appearance, obsession with trying to be unique and special, etc. 
After a time we see that freedom is not about doing whatever we feel like.  We may begin to see that freedom comes from discipline.  In the discipline and promises to ourselves to act in certain ways we experience the level of freedom that brings.  But then....
there is another level of freedom beyond that.
It is the freedom to listen to the call of our hearts.  The freedom to live outside of any thought or judgment or rule or limitation.  It is the freedom to choose Love over fear in any circumstance.  While it is true that we only have the freedom to choose when we are aware we have a choice, freedom is then about being awake to the choices we really do have and no longer willing to play the 'poor me' I'm not free to choose game.  I have to do this.  I have no choice.  I'm not free.  This is a game the ego will play with you to keep you a prisoner.  At any moment you have the choice to tune into your Highest Truth and act on It's behalf.
After a time, you will discover that if you do not honor the call of your heart, it will not honor you.  You will have to justify and explain why things are the way they are, make up stories about how life is hard, and in reality being course corrected by the One who sent you to fulfil a divine mission.  When you act on the Souls behalf you act on behalf of the collective One Heart.  When you act on a manmade system of thought, you are not free to truly choose, but can only choose from the limitation of that system of thought that you have taken on as Truth.  Truth has no set rules.  Truth does not exist in time and is not bound by convention, it exists only in the Now, only in the individual Heart space and can only be heard by the individual by their own heart.
True discipline is not about doing what you have said you would do, or what you have promised youself you would do, in order to achieve an outcome the ego feels it needs in order to get what it thinks it needs to be happy
no
True discipline is being a disciple of the Soul.  It is cultivating the ability to tune in a listen to the subtle energies of the body, of the heart, and to discern when things are off and to have the courage to make changes accordingly.  It is a discipline of the highest order.

In a recent healing session I was asked to open to the vision of 'home' and something came in that was so beautiful, so healing, so joyful, so abundant it was almost overwhelming and beyond anything I had before imagined possible.  I was asked to tune in and feel anything inside that was blocking that vision from manifesting and something that suprised me was a belief that everyone on the planet had to have their happiness and their vision, then it was okay to have mine.  It's truly shocking the things we hold in our subconscious and block our divine expression and hearts desire from manifesting!  I was then asked, Can you truly give what you yourself don't have?    If you are not at that level of manifestation how can you help others get there, and, why should others then have it and not you?  Wow.  Food for thought and healing balm for the soul.  It also brings to mind Krishnamurti said; that teaching by example isn't the best way to teach, it is the only way.
If we are not free we cannot lead others to freedom, only to our idea of freedom.  If we are not at home we cannot provide a home to others.  If we are not "in love" with ourselves, with life, with love itself even, how can we truly love another?

so, in the end freedom is not doing whatever you feel like, but it is doing whatever You feel like, what the God Self within is directing you to do, 
leading to a state of pure energetic cosmic flow
 a state of unity consciousness
a joy unimaginable to the human mind
and a soul that is illuminating and reflecting the Light We Are
and lighting the way for others who desire true freedom

I am a disciple of my Soul's Purpose
I am a disciple of the Soul of the World
I am a disciple of Love

And so it is